By Leesa Harker
Leesa Harker's extraordinary Liverpool-based parody of fifty colours tells of the adventures of White Lightning-swigging Maggie Muff, who meets Mr huge on the Dole Tall, darkish and shaggable he should be, yet his pursuits are faraway from traditional, and whilst he introduces Maggie to the purple Room of ache she realises that she could have bitten off greater than she will chew.If you are looking for books like 50 colours of gray, yet wish whatever funnier, filthier and set within the middle of Liverpool, this is often the ideal booklet for you. the muse for the sell-out play, starring Dannielle Malone.
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Extra info for 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey
The guy doin the interview was like somethin out of the Kays catalogue – tall, dark an shag-some. He had a gorgeous grey suit on, like one you’d see in Topman, an a grey silk tie. The most gorgeous green sparkly eyes that stared through me, settin my flaps on fire. Proper shag material like. ’ Then didn’t I trip on the manky carpet an fall into the room, head first an into his arms. An my face went bright red but he just smiled at me an I’m thinkin, boss, he wants into my knickers! An he said to me that he’s fell over before too, an I thought to myself, yeah, probably trippin over his big trouser-snake!
A whole eight hours to spend in a shop! I felt sick. Sinead got to work causin havoc right away but I got stuck in the storeroom checkin that none of the eggs in boxes were cracked. Well, after about half an hour, I got bored of the eggs, an Sinead had been taken off the floor an sent to pack bags cos of her bad behaviour. I heard the manager screamin about wafer-thin ham in boxes of cornflakes, an Sinead pole-dancin round a fresh baguette. So I decided to text Mr Big. I started with a cheeky one sayin I was bitin my lip, an one thing led to another an I ended up sex-textin him.
5) Margaret agrees to be whipped, flogged, spanked and to do whatever I say, whenever I say. ) 6) Margaret declares that she does not suffer from herpes, hepatitis or any other sti. ) 7) Margaret will travel to destinations that I decide and I will pay her travel expenses. (Yee haa! ) 8) I will not lend Margaret to any other Dominant. ) 9) All sex toys will be kept clean and hygienic. (They don’t need cleaned. ) 10) Margaret will not look into the eyes of the Dominant – she will keep her eyes down.
51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey by Leesa Harker